


Ludus

by MR01



Series: Dream series [1]
Category: The Flash (TV 2014)
Genre: Angst and Hurt/Comfort, Bad Decisions, Bad dreams take a turn and confusion ensues, Barry tries to comfort Ralph, Character Death In Dream, Dream Sex, Dream discussion, Fluff and Hurt/Comfort, Gen, M/M, Pre-Slash, Protective Barry Allen, References to Depression, Team as Family
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-02-17
Updated: 2019-03-22
Packaged: 2019-10-30 17:24:44
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 2
Words: 2,909
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/17832902
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/MR01/pseuds/MR01
Summary: "You know what's weird." He doesn't ask because he's going to tell him regardless. "Last night I had a dream about you."





	1. Dream series,

**Author's Note:**

> I don't own 'The Flash'

* * *

"Flash! Watch out." The next thing he sees is a pool of red and he knows without question that it's blood.

He doesn't stretch out to him quickly enough and for some unfathomable reason Barry hadn't looked like he'd even thought of moving to block the attack.

Now he's on the floor and unconscious. He's called out for help but no one is answering.

Worse still no one is here yet.

Having even tried reaching out to the Legion and they're alone.

He's so scared.

Not even when he himself kicked the bucket was he so worried to the point where it boardered on hopelessness.

And he can't move. His feet, body feels like stone.

He wants to move. Standing here like this it reminds him of DeVoe.

Fear is threatening to consume him whole but all he can focus on is chanting the words.

"Please be alive. I don't want you to die. Not you Rookie."

Tears are falling and shit this hit him hard.

The next thing he knows is that all the street lights go out and the moon hides behind clouds so he's taking steps forward with unseeing eyes.

And when they come on again Barry is gone along with his killer.

All that is left is the pool of blood because it is too grand to call a puddle.

He's shaking. Cannot control it. But it's not important.

Not when he can see Barry.

He is no longer wearing his Flash suit anymore.

There's no sight of blood or wound on him.

He's just Barry Allen, CSI extraordinaire and model Central City citizen.

Poster boy for how people should strive to be.

He isn't dead.

Relief beyond words floors him and he almost can't breathe but Barry is mere inches from him so he isn't worried.

The speedster is a little closer than necessary however.

It's not bad, not bad all but yeah it is weird.

Then Barry is saying it's going to be okay.

And if Ralph doesn't believe him wholeheartedly..

Suddenly Barry is kissing him and it's desperate but chaste.

He kisses him back just as tentative only to break it off and stare at him mildly confused.

Aroused. But yeah he's really confused.

Barry smiles and kisses him harder. Taking the opportunity to slip his tongue into his mouth as his hands work on undressing him slowly.

His movements methodical yet vigorous.

Saying 'I really wanted to see you'.

Before everything goes dark again and he's alone in the middle of Central City.

He's alone in the middle of an intersection when he sees the Flash and he feels safe.

Or that's how it went up until he sees someone off at a distance aiming some sort of domestic terrorist-like weapon at his chest.

It looks eeriely familiar like something he's seen in the Black market.

 Vaguely, he gets a sense of deja vu.

Still it's not relevant and he is stretching towards him when he pieces what's going on together.

"Flash! Watch out."

The next thing he sees is a pool of red and he knows without question that it's blood.

* * *

 He wakes up wet from head to toe.

Drenched with sweat. With a lingering sense of dread yet he's hard.

He came and embarrassment along with shame course through him yet he lies in his mattress unsure as to why.

His erection is still straining against his boxers.

Wants to take care of it but something in his mind is telling him to just take a cold shower.

Moving to get up he spots a picture of Team Flash.

All smiles and happy. He stretched and tipped the picture over.

Heat running through his face and the palms of his hands itch.

He feels exposed although there is no else present. 

Whatever it was the he was dreaming about it clearly affected him but it's not real so he has to move on.

Still something tells him it had all felt too real.

Shadows of it linger somewhere in the pit of his mind.

He has to get up and get ready for work, then superheroing.

Has a busy day ahead of him.

This won't stop him or set him back. That's what he tells himself.

And it doesn't.

He is fine the first night, the one after that.

Hell he's fine the first week, the first month even.

The second or third. Not so much but he sleeps just enough to let his body rest.

His brain will catch up eventually.

It has to. That's all he knows. Wants.

* * *

 He does not sleep much anymore. He practically lives at Jitters up until he buys himself a coffee machine.

Drinks like 12-20 cups a day, black. Sugar is a deterrent it makes his mind wander.

He knows it's a bad quick to form habit. He knows that if it doesn't hurt him it could kill him, then again he has done that already

If he weren't being so cynical about this he would be worried.

He's aware of people staring with or without the costume on.

Regardless if he's doing his PI job and getting paid for it, his tasks recently coming far and in-between.

He's running a little late on some bills but it's nothing too concerning.

Cannot for the life of him remember the last time he a decent meal because lately there isn't much he can keep down.

Still what's getting to him the most is that what feels like every few minutes someone is calling or texting, vibing messages.

Hell even message cubes through Earth's just to check up on him.

The Council or Wells and their ex wives basically all banded together long enough to put their differences, quarles aside and pretty much spelled it out for him.

Told him to quit his shit. Get it together, bury it. Fuck it. Whatever.

But to be presentable in the morning.

To get some rest and destress. He cried like a baby that night.

So far he has been offered money, threatened and almost got hypnotized by Barry and Iris' therapist.

But he knows his stuff, he told her he'd basically sue her if she tried.

Or worse. He wasn't serious. He just wanted to be left alone. He'd apologized.

He felt like a bastard but he is not her concern.

Nor theirs. He's a grown man. He's had to remind himself lately.

He is just lucky that he hasn't gotten hurt mainly because he can't.

His body is amazing but it's even better that he hasn't gotten sloppy enough to get anyone on the team in potential danger.

Or a bystander. Honestly a miracle.

Just now he finished saving some children from a burning bus with the Flash' help sure but he got the job done.

And he backs away from the spotlight as soon as he's done.

Letting Barry hog it up for once so he can go change and drown in an ice bath for a few hours.

* * *

 That doesn't happen at least the drowning part.

He's in his bathtub because he bought one specifically for this purpose, while he's more of a shower person.

It does its job.

By the time Barry knocks on his door. His hand stretches far enough to let him in as he leans his head back.

He is certain that he looks as miserable as he feels but he's thinking 'what can I do.'

"Hello Rookie, can you hand me a towel. It's right behind you. Thanks."

He doesn't ask what brings him by. Doesn't pretend to look surprised or happy about it either.

Barry takes a step inside the restroom.

Without a doubt Ralph can already tell just by looking at him.

Hell by just knowing him. He's used his speed to run around the house and check everything.

He should know.

Ralph's not an addict, he doesn't hurt himself nor is he sloppy or looking for attention.

Barry should mind his own business as should everyone else.

Barry nods.

Wordless. Pulls his towel off the rack and aside.

Holding it hostage against his chest before handing it to him. Mumbling 'here you go.'

Placing his other hand on his shoulder lightly.

As if mentally preparing himself then ready for Ralph to smack it away at any given moment.

He feels like a stray puppy or one of those kittens in a box found shivering, the about to die ones in the rain.

He no longer feels cold. Briefly wonders about hypothermia.

But his eyes betray him when he looks up at Barry.

Eyes looking back at his. Sincere, worry evident. "Ralph. Talk to me man."

Backing up a little when Ralph moves to stand. 

Normally he'd turn around.

Give them whomever they are a semblance of privacy as an embarrassed blush creeps up onto his face.

Regardless of their gender but in this case when Ralph stands his eyes roam his body freely, open.

With diligence for any signs of injury whether self inflicted or not.

He's grateful that nothing is visible. And that Ralph doesn't apparently care for an explanation.

"I'm here for you. I'll always be here." Ralph wraps the towel around his waist. His hair dripping as much as the rest of him.

"And if for some reason you can't talk to me or want to then. That completely fine, understandable. But you've got to know if you didn't already."

He takes a shaky breath his eyes never leaving him as he continues.

"You've got all of us here. Team Flash. Joe and Cecile, Sherloque even. Everyone in the Legion, the Legends."

He looks away when Ralph runs a hand through his hair and Ralph briefly think 'this is what gets to him? Or am I just missing something..he knows he's wasting his time.'

But Barry composes himself looking at him strangely for a moment as if trying to gauge his soul.

"I have a very exclusive reservation at Big Belly." He goes for a smile, he aimed for playful but Ralph is spacing out.

He wants him to leave so he can go back to what he was doing.

Meanwhile Barry can't help but worry because he looks real awful. He just ignored the extent until now.

Telling himself that it wasn't his problem time and time again. That Ralph would come and talk to him, anyone.

Looking at him now. He's not stupid. He knows it won't happen.

He's wrecking his brain wondering what happened to have him in this state and just how long it has been going on.

He's kicking himself mentally. He should have noticed, done something sooner.

His brain is screaming at him to stare at his friend.

Saying that he let this happen on his watch and it really hurts his heart.

Looking at him now. He looks like he hasn't slept in weeks, nothing close to proper.

Judging by his state, at the restroom he's barely kept up enough hygiene to look and smell professional but this is seriously troubling.

With his smile and cheeriness long dead he sighs hoping against all odds that he can reach him as he says.

 "I was gonna take Caitlin but she texted saying she has plans with Nora. Would you like to grab some lunch with me?"

"No-not today Rookie" Ralph looks away unable to meet his eyes. His words deadpan, holding no room for argument.

"Please" the word escapes him without his permission. 

It's desperate and begging. Too quiet to catch unless you were actively trying.

But Ralph was standing near enough to catch it. 

"I'm really worried about you. We all are."

He looks like he wants to cry as he reaches out.

Fingers hovering above his heart and Ralph wants nothing more than to hug him tight and rest his eyes.

"We love you. You know that, right?" Barry presses his lips together and wipes his arm over his face.

He looks so sad and vulnerable. It hurts that he doesn't know what to do to make him feel better.

Ralph doesn't touch him. He does the next best thing.

He cracked the code about three months into it. 

Still he cannot sleep. It doesn't matter.

He can't help leaning towards him, invading his personal space or saying the words. "You know what's weird."

Barry doesn't ask because he's going to tell him regardless, he knows that.

"Last night I had a dream about you." He doesn't elaborate further but Barry doesn't press him instead saying.

"When and if you're ready you can tell me about it. In the meantime let me tell you about mine."

Relief floors Barry enough to tip forward without his control and into Ralph's secure grip.

So all logical thought goes out the window and he is kissing his chest lightly just above his heart as Ralph wrapped his arms around him.

Hugging him and okay this was most definitely not expected but he doesn't mind one bit.

That does nothing to stop the shaking even as he holds him but it's more than enough for Barry so he continues talking.

Hopefully he will reach him.

"When it's not about my parents. Or Iris and Wally, when we were kids with Joe. It's about musicals or food."

He looks up not minding the tears falling from his eyes or the light shakes on his shoulders.

"But just FYI this one, it involves fields of flowers and cats. Although there was once a dog. At least those are the nice ones. They are far and in-between but they mean the world to me."

And then Ralph laughs. It's low and sounds a little rusty but it isn't fake and it's enough for Barry.

"Are you bullshitting me Allen? I didn't fall for the Chemist remember. Was a real good detective once upon a time to boot."

He's looking down at him trying to figure it out because there's a slight chance. Slim. Of this being 100% factually correct.

"Come to lunch with me and find out for yourself. I'll let you judge me. Is this an act or am I this much of a-"

He presses a finger to Barry's lips unwilling to hear the end of it as he clears his throat.

"I, I'll go just give me a minute. Two. I gotta change. But you're warm so let me enjoy this."

And Barry holds onto him tighter saying.

"Yeah by all means take as long as you want."


	2. Out

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Barry waits for Ralph

* * *

"Are you asking me out?" Ralph finished changing thinking he should make a funny comment to clear the air because Barry is a little quiet.

"What, no. You are in not in a good place emotionally and mentally. Not saying that in a bad way but you now what I mean dude."

Barry feels his face heat up as he struggles to keep his hands still.

He needs to say something, anything before this gets awkward. Ralph is combing his hair.

Decidingly not looking at him as he does so but he does steal a glance and that's all it takes.

"Once you are though, back to yourself I wouldn't mind catching a bite or two. Seeing a new movie. I really want to try indoor skydiving, it just seems super cool."

He meets his eyes and Ralph stands a little taller as he says. "Yeah let's definitely try all of that."

* * *

 "This looks promising." He stares at the plate before him and picks up his forlk.

They are at a Thai restaurant and order a verity of food. 

Khao niao, yam nua and Pad Thai for the first course.

Roasted duck, yum ma-muang and kaeng liang for the second.

For the final course it was mango layer cake, coconut rice dumplings and raspberry sorbets.

 By the end of it they are stuffed and comfortable. 

Having told stories about their jobs outside of superheroing and complained about some of the City's new rise is tourism.

As of late it wasn't that great having so much traffic or people recording for views while they are busy trying to keep them safe.

Barry gets a call from someone at Star Labs asking him to come back for some new details on the week's current 'big bad.'

And he thinks Grodd should really not today because he has no problem leaving his lane.

"Well Ralph I gotta go. But don't worry, I'll take you home."

He paid the bill and left a tip. Exiting the restaurant with a kleeb lamduan cookie.

Once they are far away from the crowds and into an alleyway 

"Here, just make sure you hold on tight. Alright." 

Barry smiles at him politely as he makes a 'come here' gesture. 

Either signalling that he is going to whoosh him home via piggy back ride or carry him bridal style

Both of which ideas have him wide eyes and blushing furiously.

"You sure about this Bar? Believe me, I don't want to throw up on you. And I can just walk or catch a bus. It is not that difficult."

Barry seems to contemplate his choices for a moment before flashing them out of there and into his front door.

"Yeah, I'll see you then." Barry back him up against the door even though Ralph is taller than him and he thinks it cute.

That there's a spark like lightning rushing between them.

But his phone is ringing again making it clear that his favorite speedster has to run.


End file.
